As Jennifer Sees It

### of Words for Emotion

Its Saturday morning and I am sitting in my room in Amsterdam. On Monday it will be my 6 month mark of being here in Amsterdam. Lately I have felt cornered or challenged to just be happy. Which I can say I am. Though along with that happiness there are millions of other things to describe about the emotion I am going through. I will immediately go to the standard words for emotion like beyond happy I am

Confused
Excited
Sad
Apprehensive
Thrilled
Disconnected

The list can go on and on. There are so many words for emotion and sometimes it is very hard to describe this strange hybrid of emotion in which we live. It would great to live without the hybrid. Wouldn’t it be great to just be Happy. To just live in this constant state of happy. Though call me a masochist I am at times ok with not being at the 100% of happy and living in a hybrid, it makes me feel more human.

It allows me to challenge myself in a stronger way.

My life is filled with contradictions and conundrums, such as I love to travel but hate to fly, I have found a balance within myself that allows me to go through life with a smile on my face. 

And that balance comes from emotion on ever point of the spectrum.

After living most of my life believing that I would be planted in one place, I found the courage to pack my bags, and I do mean bags light packing is not my specialty, and head to South Africa. Now I realize that the world is so much bigger then I could have ever imagined and a lifetime is not enough time to see it all. So now I am one again living away from the conforts of the people who know me well and the place I know at everyturn. But you have to do as much as you can in the time you have. Taking it all in, the big and small, the good and bad, going down the smooth paths and a few bumpy roads (which seems like mountainous terrain at times). 
Sometimes because of that the happiness is not always there. But sometimes it is there in a much bigger and better way.

On a daily basis I need to smile, laugh, learn, read and most of all continue to ask question and challenge myself.

I need accept the emotion. Learn from it. And try to get to a place where the balance allows me to be a good as I can. Do the most that I can. And be who I know I can be.

I need to be and see. I need to improve. I need to Challenge

posted by HappyOne @ 3:13 AM